Walks, Talks & Life Lessons

When I was a kid, I had a burning desire to do two things: to travel in a plane and to visit America.

Thanks to my uncle Subash, who lived in America, it didn’t take long to fulfil both my dreams. 

My uncle was a frequent flyer of Delta Airlines, so he used to get free flight tickets. When I was 12 years old, he gifted me a ticket to visit America.

I couldn’t believe my luck because he could have given those tickets to either of my two elder brothers, but for some reason he chose me.

I had just over a decade with my uncle, but that was enough to leave a lasting impact and secure his place as my favourite uncle.

My uncle had a unique style in the way he spoke and carried himself. He ran a successful jewellery business in the U.S, had a knack for making an amazing egg bull’s-eye and drove what was without doubt the messiest car I’ve ever sat in.    

One of my fondest memories with him was going for walks to Kumkumassery, a village few kilometers from my maternal home when he came to Kerala.

The walks would be tiring, but I enjoyed it because my uncle was great company. During our walks, I’d admire his confidence to go to houses where he didn’t know anyone and casually strike up conversations with people.

From one of our walks to Kumkumassery. That's me on the left and my brother and uncle to the right

By the time I visited him in America in 2007, he was battling pancreatic cancer and undergoing treatment. He had really wanted to take me to Disneyland, but his health didn’t allow it.

My uncle would say that growing old was a blessing because the only way to stop ageing was to die.

A few months after I returned from my trip to the U.S, I came back from school to the news that my uncle was no more.

He had been critically ill for a while, yet it came as a shock and it felt so strange knowing that I would never see him again. `

My uncle had a big heart and would go the extra mile to help people. When he passed on, he left a fortune not only for his family but also to his distant relatives as well.

He always took an extra interest in me and looking back that made me feel seen and valued. Now that I am an uncle myself to two of my elder brother’s kids, his example has given me clarity on the kind of person I want to be for them. 

His favourite movie was The Godfather which is one of my favourites too. But I never got the chance to talk about it with him because I only watched it years after he had passed.

Even today, 18 years after he has passed, I continue to benefit from the decisions he made. My uncle Subash, along with two of my other uncles (both settled in the US) bought an apartment right next to where I live today. This place has been a refuge to sit, write, or meditate in peace without any noises or distractions.

I wonder how things might have been if he hadn’t left us so early. But rather than dwell on my loss, I remind myself how fortunate I was to have an uncle like him.

Cherish and appreciate the people in your life while you can, because you never know how long you’ll have with them.

One of our last pictures together, taken when I visited him in the U.S

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